My Friend Leilani

I’ve been friends with Leilani since the first day of fifth grade. I saw that she was a new girl at the school and decided to sit next to her in class so that she would have a friend that first day of school. That’s how we always introduce each other to people.

Unfortunately, Leilani and I weren’t able to see each other on a daily basis anymore after I moved and went to a different high school.

But over the years, even when months or years would go by before we got a chance to catch up again in person we would find that somehow we ended up living lives with paralleling interests. One of these moments happened when we met up last year before Leilani moved to Seattle.

We showed up to the meeting spot we agreed on and discovered that we both coincidentally came wearing fascinators and discovered that it was something we both have become into:


Needless to say, we both started screaming together in excitement (like the time we went to the Maroon 5 concert a decade ago) when we saw that once again we showed up to her sister’s wedding in Sausalito last weekend sporting our looks. I even managed to match my shoes to the color of her fascinator that she was wearing that day:


While my love life has been pretty dry, I have recently been very proud of how much progress I feel like I have made in developing great female friendships new and old.

Like romance, I think movies and tv shows sometimes paint a false notion of what friendships are like in real life. I used to fantasize about having a core group of friends like the ones you see on screen where you would see them getting together every single day at the same special meeting spot.

While we give common labels to people like “friends” or “significant other” every relationship is unique. And I realize that it’s a shame for me to compare my own special friendships I have to a fake one portrayed on a tv or movie screen (even if the actors become friends in real life).

In fact, the day of the wedding I managed to attend my book club meeting with the ladies in the morning and had dinner at my friend Jackie’s after the wedding. And I also got a chance to catch up with my sister now living on the east coast over the phone during my drive up to the wedding. At the end of the day I felt blessed to have had a day spending time with different girlfriends. The girlfriend time has been more spread out on weekdays and such but I’ve noticed that it’s definitely there.

It also never ceases to put a smile on my face whenever I come home to see a letter from Canada, where my ever-so-faithful friend Ming writes to me from regularly. We can sometimes hardly wait for each other’s responses and will often have multiple chains of letters going on simultaneously! And I don’t think too many people out there can say that they have that in their lives (partially because most people don’t write to each other via postal letters).

So to all of my uniquely wonderful girlfriends out there – thank you






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