On Dating Myself

Date Example #1: Earlier this year, I went to go watch the film How to Be Single. Appropriately enough, I went to go watch the film solo. Prior to arriving at the movie theater, I stopped by Whole Foods to grab a little bit of pulled pork shoulder at the hot food bar. And then I made my next stop at the grilled cheese sandwich chain restaurant The Melt so that I could concoct myself a pulled pork grilled cheese sandwich, which I snuck in my movie theater purse to devour while watching the film. It was a perfect afternoon.

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Date Example #2: The year before that, I went to Paris by myself where I spent hours upon hours smelling tea leave samples in tea shops before deciding which ones to purchase and bring back with me to the states. Unless I was on the trip with another tea enthusiast it would have probably been torturous to have a travel companion! I would read a novel in a café sipping on such delicious tea all over Paris on this trip. Note: While Paris was not listed, I did come across an interesting article on Refinery29 of places recommended for solo female travelers.

Date Example #3: Fast forward to my current day — I am spending a relaxing weekend of having the placeIMG_0759 to myself during my roommate’s absence during the holiday weekend. Reading the book Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel, I suddenly get into a sensual mood and realize that I am free to pleasure myself as I please without having to feel discreet. It may seem odd because the book is about maintaining physical intimacy and desire with a long-term spouse/partner. But I am without that partner so I decide I would appreciate my own sexiness. I then promise myself that I would continue to occasionally do so even if I were to ever be coupled up again.


It goes without saying as I mention in my own book that I would like to fall in love again and be in that “ultimate romantic relationship” at some point if I may be so fortunate enough to meet someone. However, like a photo album full of fun memories shared with that special someone, I pride in the fact that I have these fun memories of dating myself. Whether you are dating someone else or yourself, I figured why not enjoy it?

I also strongly believe that in order for me to be a fun, loving and sexy partner to another person, I need to be so in my own company. It’s what I would think would naturally be attractive for someone else to see in me in the first place. As cliché as it sounds, it’s true that in order to love someone else you need to love yourself first.

Here’s to falling in love with myself all over again,

-M

 

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